Winter hasn’t started yet, but the cold already stroke my whole body to the point I couldn’t feel the warmth of spring. Cherry blossoms bloomed along the way home, it made all pink, and I have always been love pink. But today everything seemed uninteresting; everything was just dull and plain. The part of me was trying to convince me that all was fine, while the other one said otherwise. It felt like there were two souls living in one body and now they were arguing like there was no tomorrow. I stopped for a moment and decided to sit on the nearer bench. Contemplating all the past memories.
Today was May 18; I wore floral dress, plain white shawl, and sneakers. Some said that a girl, or maybe a woman too, would look more beautiful in that high heel thingy. Well, I looked wonderful in sneakers though.
“Can’t agree anymore. You look gorgeous on everything you wore, sweetheart.”
If that dumb stayed, maybe he would see how wonderful I was. But he was just too dumb to decide whether to stay or not. Jumping to the different boat was his last decision after all. Said he would accompany me in every step I took, in whatever direction I chose and in any mistakes I made. Little did I know that he would break all his promises. If I had known that the ending turned out like this, I would not desperately rely on him. For his decision to leave, I believe that he had thousand reasons as excuses.
“No, sweetheart. I’m still here”
I tried to digest the world revolved around me and he was no exception. Trying to figure out what was happening was like walking on the endless maze with empty hands. It was dark and I had no clue where the way out was. In the end, nothing I could do but being selfish. I decided to stay in where I stand right now because I was too tired to walk.
One more time, I sighed. Somehow having the reverie of him was kinda painful. I would erase it if could. But he was one of the beautiful memories I have; he was too precious to forget.
I smiled a little for these painful memories reappeared. Well, I thanked you for giving me laughter and tears, happiness and sadness. For coloring the little part of my life and for looking after me, thank you very much. Yet, I was so sorry for throwing all the blames on you. You know, I have always been putting my faith on you, but it was too hard these days.
“Please, believe me.”
The more I untied the bond of you on me, the more I felt at ease. But, I would leave the last one string for you to find me.
“Please wait for me. Whether in the old me or in the new me, I promise to hold your hands again.”
I stroke my dress as I stood up though it wasn’t dirty. Sitting all alone here risen my hope of you to return someday. I finally dragged my heel to go home. The cold of winter on spring would still hit me for the next few days or maybe for the next few weeks I guess.
It’s been forever since I active in the blog and here I came with this sensitive issue, about Kris Wu /sigh/. I wanna talk about my opinion in several points:
1. If I judge him from my perspective as an EXO fan, yes indeed he’s such an irresponsible leader. Dropping the bomb in the critical time; when their very first concert is getting closer and in the midst of promotion. I expected him, as a leader, to be wiser and to have more considerations in taking certain action. I believe that he has personal reason of leaving his group, and I understand it, but at least he should try to discuss this matter with his member at the first place. He has disappointed me up to this point
2. I respect whatever decision he’ll take, whether leaving or staying. As his fan, I wanna him to stay with the remaining 11. It looks like that I’m being delusional, but as his fan from the start it’s a normal and simple thing to do when my bias will leave the group. I may sound selfish, but I will use ‘being selfish is a human nature’ as an excuse. I haven’t fully turned off my denial mode, so I hope he’ll return someday.
3. Personally, I was disappointed with the members’ maturity level. They just unfollowed him on SNS account right after this issue uproar and posting about ‘betrayal’ thingy (I won’t refer to a certain member; I talked about it in general). As a human being, I fully understand their anger toward Kris, yet I think their actions have dragged the fans in more pandemonium. Somehow, I appreciate them for speaking out about Kris.
4. If that conspiracy thingy is right, I dunno what I have to do to you, Kris. Lemme decide it later.
5. If you mad at him, if you hate him just keep it by yourself. Don’t go around SNS or comment on his SNS by dropping rude comment, like wishing him to die and the like. Believe me, that wishing someone to die is somehow crossing the line and unacceptable.
After all, it was my opinion, you may approve or against it, it’s up to you. What I can do now is wishing the best for both parties.
And here, a good song for you by Boyce Avenue. I keep repeating playing this song lyk for 3 consecutive days. Here the link
The last, I’m sorry for the wrong and messy grammar also for the bad and cheesy story /bows/